Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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