This is not my ceiling
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
