She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
