i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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