Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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