This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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