my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
