I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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