I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
