how hairy? two words: wookie tits
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
