So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
