Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize