They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
4 words: hood of his car
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
