I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I wish there were birth control emojis
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize