I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
