I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
