He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just want nice things and good sex
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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