You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
