he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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