How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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