I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
