Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
