did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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