bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
