TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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