You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
