im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
