Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
