Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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