I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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