Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
