She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
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there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
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Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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