another moral hangover. fuck.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
