Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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