yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
