i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
