I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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