It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
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