bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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