We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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