girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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