i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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