oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
