so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
