She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
