I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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