I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
