i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
