what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
