rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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