Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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