butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
