i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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