this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
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Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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