So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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