I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
