So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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