dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
