I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize