i always forget guys have bellybuttons
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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