My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
