Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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