You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
