you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize