So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
