Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
