he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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