i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
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Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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