I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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