I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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