dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
