I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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